As I Get Older Monologue: #9

Data shows confederate group includes elected officials, military officers as members… However, the only people who were surprised are white non-elected officials or military officers.

WHO officials advise fully vaccinated people to wear masks as Delta variant spreads… But to be fair, they also advise people who wear condoms to still get tested so what ya gonna do?

20 dead bodies found on boat near Turks and Caicos island. I suppose the term ‘turn up on vacation’ wouldn’t be a wise choice of words for this occasion. 

Iowa man arrested for calling bomb threat at McDonalds when he didn’t receive dipping sauce. If everyone started doing this, employees would STILL give a attitude when you ask for more.

Nick Cannon has officially had his 7th child. With all those children and different baby momma’s he can start his own Wild N Out cast. 

Sha’Carri was suspended from racing in the olympics for testing positive of a substance of marijuana. Where was this energy to stop someone from running when Donald Trump went for a second term?

Bill Cosby was released from prison. Chief executives and the judge came up with the decision after sitting around and having a drink with Mr. Cosby.

California couple charged in deadly wildfire sparked by gender reveal… wow, talk about having sparks fly of love between this couple.

California couple was charged in deadly wildfire sparked by gender reveal. However, they were charged because it’s 2021 and they were having a gender reveal in California. 

7 penguins die for unknown reasons at Florida Aquarium, authorities ‘may never know the cause of death’… this is equivalent to dropping a race or species in a unfamiliar place and expecting them to ascend. …Wait.

Biden Administration transfers its first prisoner out of Guantanamo Bay, the prisoner was captive for close to a century. President Biden supposedly knew this person.

People Working for minimum wage can’t afford 2-bedroom rentals anywhere in the U.S. and I genuinely believe only billionaires were shocked from this stat.

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